


I was born to love you

by evandiaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Drunk confessions, Drunk flirting, Drunken Confessions, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, M/M, Oblivious Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:22:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evandiaz/pseuds/evandiaz
Summary: Some confessions were better said when drunk.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 110





	I was born to love you

Buck is not normally a drunkard. At all. Only when circumstances really demand it that he must become, as they say, ‘wasted’, and he seeks to apply the distraction methods Eddie taught him to forget about how awful he’s feeling for a while.

Like right now, watching Eddie flirt with the pretty lady with the long legs and sultry smirk. She is also blonde with her, nice smile and she is basically everything Buck is not.

Buck pours another shot.

Eddie’s smiling face. How bright he looks with that gorgeous woman on his side. It’s going to haunt him every time he closes his eyes before he goes to sleep.

He’s tired. More accurately, he’s exhausted. He’s alone.

“Buck?” The familiar voice of Eddie speaks up from beside him. “What’s the matter?”

He didn’t dare to look at Eddie’s persistent stare at him, he won’t be able to go along if he took one glance at whatever emotions were floating around in his eyes.

He pauses, thinking a little, “Have… you… ever been in love?”

“What?” That is a stupid question. “I used to be married?”

“Last one for you,” warns the bartender, making Buck scowl at him reproachfully. “You’ve been drinking more in the last hour than an alcoholic does on a whole day. Trust me, no more.”

Buck takes a deep breath, like he’s preparing himself for something and attempting to calm his nerves.

“I’m a bad friend,” he says after a moment.

Eddie frowns, “You’re a great friend. The best friend I’ve ever-,”

“Eddie?”

“You smell good.”

It’s stupid and it doesn’t mean anything, but Eddie blushes anyway. “Uh.” He clears his throat. “Thanks?”

Buck wriggles a little, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he starts off with. Another hiccup and then, he says, “You two look so good together, like you belong with one another. We never looked like that, did we? Nope.”

“What are you talking abou-” Eddie says.

“I am such a bad friend!” Buck cuts him off, avoiding his gaze, “Remember when we agreed we weren’t going to keep secrets anymore?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“I lied. I’ve been keeping a secret from you for a while. A big secret. A secret that could change the way you see me, and even make you not want to be my friend anymore.”

“There’s no fucking way that’s true.”

“I’m in love with you.”

Eddie gazes at him with confusion. Buck had no time to memorise a whole speech of why he loves him. He doesn’t need to explain himpself.

“What?” Eddie’s face dropped with hurt plastered all over. “Is this some joke?”

“I can give you that, Eddie.” Buck blurts nearly incoherently, so Eddie has to pay extra attention to catch every word.

“What?” Eddie can only ask, because drunk Buck turns out to be even more complicated than regular, sober Buck.

“I can be that for you,” before Buck lifts his head a few inches so his big puppy eyes can look right into Eddie’s.

Eddie doesn’t know what to say to that.

“I spent the whole night thinking about you.”Buck blurts out. “About how I was jealous that everyone got time with you but me, and how I wished it was me making you blush and not her, and how that's stupid because I should be happy a pretty girl that you like, likes you back. But all I can think about is how I’ve had so many chances to tell you how I am so in love with you it drives me crazy and I pick now to act on it, after someone else takes an interest in you.” He looks at his hands, his eyes burning with forming tears. “How lame is that?” He chokes out a laugh and it turns into a sob.

“Buck-.” Eddie’s voice is soft.

"Feelings suck, don't they?" Buck says, not so much a question as his words slur together. "You know what I'm talking about.”

"I'm afraid I don't.” Eddie says, quieting the little voice that pipes up in the back of his head with an accusatory bluffing.

Buck sighs before continuing to say, “I can’t sleep. I haven’t been sleeping.”

Quieter now, he says, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

Fuck everything.

“I will change. I can be like her. I can be what you want, just tell me how.”

“Why the fuck are you asking me this?” Eddie lets out.

Deeming the situation sufficiently diffused, Eddie tucks his chin over the other man’s head. “BUCK! Buck listen to me. You probably won’t remember this once you are sobered up, but,” Eddie presses a soft kiss into Buck’s hair.

“You are exactly what I want.”

“So… does that mean you… like me too? Like, like-like meee?”

The question feels like a knife stabbing at Eddie’s heart. But he disregards the pitiful sensation in his chest, believing that this could be the only time he can admit to it wholeheartedly.

“Yeah.” Eddie calmly responds, remaining physically composed when his heart was actually about to explode. “I have for a while now.”

“I want to kiss you now.” Buck says.

Eddie stiffens. He can’t have heard that right.

Buck’s hand shifts and presses against his shoulder, giving him leverage as he pulls himself up. Eddie looks at him for a moment, heart creeps into his throat, racing so fast it takes his breath away. Buck eyes lock on Eddie’s mouth and he-

What is he doing?

Eddie yanks back, gasping and horror-struck. Buck’s eyes flutter open in confusion. His mouth, his soft, wet lips, still open.

“No. Oh my god No.” Eddie shakes his head. “Fuck! I am sorry.” He lightly pushes Buck and hurries to put some distance between them.

“Why not?”

“You’re drunk, Buck!” he almost pleads. “This is not- this is not what you want.”

“You don’t know what I want,” Buck says, tone sharpening.

“I want to kiss you too, but you are drunk and I’m not taking advantage of you.” 

“BULLSHIT!”

“Buck,” Eddie sighs.

“You make my name sound like a curse.”

“Sure.”

“You love me,” Buck continues, using his drunkenness as an excuse to lean against Eddie more than is strictly necessary.

“Stop,” Eddie bites out, turning his face away again.

“You wanna marry meeee,”

Eddie shoves him away, validating the fact that that was a terrible plan, and it’s only because the alcohol has worn off a little that Buck doesn’t fall on his ass.

"Okay, okay. You are right. I am being stupid and I’m too drunk to do this, I should have waited until-”

“Well you’ve got one thing right,” Eddie says, finally opening his eyes. He looks confused, and still a little angry, but also kind of heartbroken in a way that makes Buck feel like the biggest asshole in the world. “You’re definitely stupid.”

“Hey! Even if this was really dumb, it took a lot of courage for me to confess this to you, so could you stop being so… so you and just listen for a second?”

Eddie blinks at him, and then the corners of his mouth turn up, the slightest hint of a smile.

“Confess?” Eddie asks, sounding the tiniest bit hopeful.

“Yeah confess. I did that already but I am gonna say this to you again. Eddie Diaz, I really, really like you,” he goes on, in the same relentless murmur. “I like you a lot.”

Eddie’s lips move, forming the words shut up, but not quite managing to voice them. His throat has gone dry; his voice has fled. He tries to clear his throat without Buck noticing, but ineffectually, and in the meantime Buck continues.

“I’m crazy about you,” he whispers, somewhere against Eddie’s hair. “Have been, ever since I saw you. ” He breathes out, then; one shuddery breath, full of longing, that stirs Eddie’s hair like a tiny gust of wind. “I... like you.”

Eddie swallows, finally finding his voice.

“Buck, again. You are drunk.” he says. His voice comes out weak and hoarse; nothing like himself. In this moment, he barely recognizes the person he’s become.

“Yeah.” Buck chuckles, low and easy in his throat. “But I still like you.”Buck buries his face in his hands. This is going terribly.

“That’s the least romantic and absolute fucking stupid thing you’ve ever done.”

Buck frowns, but notes that at least Eddie is actually smiling now. He sways a little as he takes a step closer, and Eddie’s hands automatically come up to steady him.

“Like you could do better,” he chuckles, which Eddie replies to by smiling and leaning in closer.

“Anyone could do better. You definitely suck at this.”

"So how will i make this up to you?" Buck chooses to ask, waiting.

"Take me out on a date. Make it up to me."

"A date?"

"A date." Eddie confirms.

"With me?" Buck asks pointing to himself, blinking again when Eddie nods.

"You don't want to?" Eddie presses, laughs because Buck is disagreeing immediately.

"I'll check my schedule."

"Okay."

“Kiss me in the morning when I’m not drunk.” He offers, voice shaky.

“I think that sounds like a great Idea.” Eddie agrees.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me if you liked it and leave kudos!!!


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